Complexities     

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Greetings, I am Little Bear.

Many years ago while I was visiting my family in northeastern California I was introduced to a medicine man who invited me to collect sacred medicine up on a mountain near the Oregon border. I had been having visions and I could feel my ancestral heritage calling me home. I discussed with my sister my stressful life living in a large city in southern California and she suggested I spend time with him. As I began to do so he advised me to seek a spiritual balance with the Universe and our Creator. I would often sit and listen to him talk, play his drum and sing. I felt a calmness come over me whenever I was in his presence. Upon his request I attended a sweat at his sweat lodge one evening and he said special prayers for me. That night I experienced things that I will never forget. So profound were these experiences and revelations that it profoundly altered the course of my life forever. The next day I asked him if he could take me to the nearby mountains to collect a special root called ki'cvu f (pronounced kishwoof) from a plant that my people consider to be very powerful medicine both medicinally and spiritually. I can remember an elder once saying when asked about it, "Its just good medicine." It was used for just about everything.

The day I was to collect the special root I was unprepared spiritually and I was filled with self-doubts about my spiritual journey and myself. In many ways I was very indoctrinated in the western standard of living. I still wanted to hold onto the shallow lifestyle I was accustomed to. That morning the medicine man, my sister and I trekked up to the mountains to collect. We parked the car and gathered in prayer at the bottom of the steep slope of the mountain. Then he turned and stepped onto a deer trail and began to run up a very steep hillside. My sister waited patiently below. I followed him up the slippery slope. There was still snow on the ground and it was very cold outside. I slipped and fell several times, cursing as I picked my self up off of the ground and tried to keep up with him. I had torn a hole in my new pants and was angry about it. I remember thinking to myself, "Why am I doing this?" The medicine man who was to become my mentor reached the top of the embankment where it leveled off somewhat. It was still very steep and I did my best not to slide back down the hill. I looked down and could see my sister looking up at us. I waved to her and turned back to see what my mentor was doing. He asked me to follow him, so I did. He spent a bit of time looking around on the ground, which was covered with several inches of snow in some places. He knelt down and with his hand brushed away the snow off of what appeared to be a plant that had been alive and in bloom the previous summer. I could see the brown remnants of the plant and seed stalk lying withered on the frozen ground. He then gently picked up the dried plant and sat it along side of what was now exposed as a rootstock sticking up out of the ground. He pointed to the spot and said that I could dig there. I knelt down and examined the spot and found a stick nearby to use as a tool to unearth what appeared to be a large tuber-like root buried in the ground. My mentor stepped back and began to watch me from a few feet away. He crossed his arms and without an expression on his face just watched me. I did not mind and began to dig away the earth and rocks around the plant root. My stick soon broke into several pieces and I threw it aside and tried to use a rock to dig at the root. It was very frustrating and I just wanted to get the root and go back to my sisters' warm house. I did not think much about it at first, but as I dug and then scooped away the soil and rock away from the root, more soil and rock would fall back into the hole as if it was trying to cover it self up. I started to pay more attention to what was happening and it seemed that the large root was twisting and burying it self into more difficult ground. I began to encounter large pieces of rock that the root was tightly wedged into. The pieces of the tuber I managed to get hold of seemed to be rotted and would crumble into dust as I tried to get hold of it. The nearby soil and rock tumbled back into the hole and the entire sequence seemed to repeat it self over and over. I became very frustrated and exclaimed to the medicine man that was still watching me, "I don't think it likes me!" He walked over to me and knelt down beside me and said maybe you don't believe that this is real medicine. I said maybe I don't yet. He then said that you must take the time and ask Creator and the plant for help. He said, "Let them know what your intentions are." Your intentions must be good. I then stood up and walked away and prayed in silence. In silence I apologized for being impatient and asked the Creator to show me what I needed to know. I went back over to the place where I was digging and started to dig once again. It was no longer difficult and the root seemed to surrender to me. After I pulled it out my mentor requested that I return the soil and rock to fill in the hole and place the dried plant remains on top. I carefully placed the root into a paper bag and tucked it under my arm and followed the medicine man back down to the car where my sister was waiting. I hugged them both and thanked them for the opportunity that morning.

Later that day I headed back to San Diego where I had lived for twenty years. It was a long drive, about 960 miles. I arrived in the early morning, about 3 A.M. and I was quite tired. I carried my belongings into the house including the large paper bag that held the large root. I took the bag directly into the kitchen and then removed the root and placed it on top of the counter. I walked out of the kitchen turning off the light as I left. I went about unpacking my things and preparing for bed. I decided to go back into the kitchen for a glass of water. I walked in and turned on the light. I glanced over to the counter where the root was sitting and was astounded by what I saw. There was a small figure holding onto the root. It resembled a little brown human-like creature. It had a wrinkled face and the long slender fingers on its hands and the long toes on its feet seemed to be integrated into the root itself. Its tiny face had an almost Asian appearance. It was narrow and seemed to have long hair and what looked like a long thin beard. His head was resting against the root and he had a pleasant looking smile on his face. Again, he seemed to blend into the surface of the large root. I gazed at the manifestation for a few seconds and then it vanished. I walked over and picked up the root to examine it more closely. I turned off the kitchen light and went to bed. That morning I called my mentor and shared my experience with him. He was very quiet as he listened as I related my encounter with the manifestation. He said that it was good that I saw the plant spirit. He told me that I should not fear it. He added that because of the experience I could collect the root and share it with others.

I view my existence in terms of the Energies, which consists of vibrational fields that create standing waves. These waves produce the appearance of solid matter. This physical matter permeates our known Universe. From macrocosm to microcosm, everything is built from energy waves that oscillate at different frequencies that exist across a broad spectrum. These frequencies range in size from large gravitational waves that influence galaxies in the cosmos, to Earth hugging low frequency waves, all the way to vibrating energies down at the Planck level (the smallest anything can get).

Today biophysicists speak of biophotonic (communication between cells via coherent light emissions) energy that exists at the DNA level. This means that pure light energy is generated within the cellular structures of our bodies. So not only are we physical beings, we are light beings as well. This light energy is also produced in the microtubules within the neurons of our brains. There are certain monatomic elements within the cells of the brain that are responsible for our consciousness and memory. They wormhole and vanish into other dimensions and into the brains of our relatives via DNA. It is speculated by some scientists that much of our memory and consciousness may exist outside the brain and body in complex holographic energy fields. This explains many of the non-local connections we seem to have with other living things. This hyper-communication occurs between cells, human beings and other living organisms. This interconnectedness transcends our known dimensions of space and time. Complex interactions occurring at the Planck level and beyond are all but a part of a complex holographic Universe. Physicists talk about hyper-dimensional awareness and trans-temporal awareness that may extend to non-corporeal or non-living things such as rocks, clouds and other objects.

My ancestors believed that many things possessed spirits. Large stone outcroppings and boulders along the rivers possessed ancient spirits that were considered sentient beings. Some were passed by with great trepidation. All were treated with great respect. Plants were also considered to embody very powerful spirits that were responsible for bringing many good things including good health and as medicine for healing illness. By just being amongst plants and listening to them, one could learn from them. When plants were used for ceremonies, rituals and purification, special connections were made with the Great Spirit and Mother Earth. Special plants and roots were used as medicine and as offerings to the sacred beneficent spirits. It has been shown that plants are sensitive to our thoughts and that they react with great alarm when other nearby organisms are in peril. As you can see, my special senses have allowed me to experience profound and wondrous interactions with the plant spirits. I have experienced a lifetime of interesting phenomena, most of which is due to my ancestry.

I believe, there is an Omnipotent and Omnipresent conscious energy. It is the Great Mystery. I call it Creator Energy. It is ancient and all knowing, unbounded and eternal. It is a Creator Being who sets in motion a system whose actions seek a balance in Nature and in the Cosmos with oscillatory stride and unimaginable beauty that can be obliterated by unspeakable violence only to reemerge again and again in an endless procession of life, death, rebirth and renewal. These astounding processes are what humble me before the Great Mystery.

Our perspective is hindered because of our limited understanding of the complex holographic and dynamic enigma presented to us through the filter of our consciousness. In other words we cannot view the whole picture from our vantage point so we must seek heightened awareness through keen observation and experience life using our natural intuitiveness as our guide. We can climb towards the proverbial peak as we go through our life's experiences being reflective and compassionate, or we can ascend with wings through our journeys toward enlightenment. Either is a path of knowledge. Wisdom and devotion will coalesce into one emergent path; a path that may indeed be infinite.

Sometimes it is possible to foretell future events. When you are in tune with the Universe, you can feel the ripples and energies from unfolding future events as you learn to recognize the bits and pieces that are intertwined in your thoughts and dreams. Future events will unfurl themselves in the fabric of your receptive consciousness and manifest in everyday experiences, if you pay attention. We can learn how to recognize the symbols and patterns that are revealed as hints from future events using our gift of special senses.

Thoughts and emotions mull deep within our subconscious mind as we go about our daily lives, like viewing images on a computer screen with multiple programs running in the background. We may not even be aware that our minds and bodies are generating unseen energies around us. That is why we must keep our intentions and thoughts positive. Oral evocation and prayer are natural amplifiers of this energy and are very powerful. Realities can be manifested from the power of the spoken word. We should seek to send and receive, through our prayers, influences that are spirited through compassionate and beneficent energies. We must always remember that the Universe knows our intentions.

Our thoughts can have an effect on others and influence them by shifting probability and the way others experience reality. I use the term "special energies" to describe energies that are capable of producing such shifts in probabilities, or altering realities of our own lives as well as others. These shifts in quantum histories create a ripple effect that alters reality to some extent. Another term that I use; "special senses", describes individuals that are capable of modulating or steering the special energies. For example, someone, by not wanting their friend to take an adventurous trip because of the danger involved, shifts the probabilities so that a series of harmless mishaps changes their friend's plans and the risky adventure is cancelled with the outcome being positive. I feel that a person's thoughts can actually influence probable outcomes not only for themselves, but for others as well. It is not that simple, of course, and also there are many other influences that are involved. However, complex energetic systems are interacting holographically at many levels, creating and influencing our experiences at all possible levels and in all dimensions. Our many thoughts weave the rich tapestry of all conscious experiences.

I have had many experiences involving special energies and special senses and I have studied it over the years. These types of phenomena are very prominent in indigenous families. I remember a story that a young Native American man told me. He and his great uncle, who was a medicine man, were returning from a camping trip on a mountaintop. As they began their trek down the mountain, there was intermittent fog on the road. They also noticed a dense layer of fog that had developed in the valley below. The medicine man, worrying about visibility, asked the young man to pull over and stop. They got out of the truck and walked over towards the precipice overlooking the fog-ladened valley. His uncle then said a few words while waiving his hands in a circular motion. Instantly, the fog began to dissipate into the atmosphere. The path ahead became visible and they then proceeded safely down the mountain.

Some years ago, I knew a psychologist whom I will name Robert, who was employed at an Indian clinic. I spent time talking with him at length about Native American spirituality as it related to my tribal heritage and to my family. He was fascinated with native medicine. I asked Robert how he thought special senses were manifested in individuals and families and he told me that it was inherited as it was passed down from generation to generation. He stated that the medicine was passed along through our DNA. Indians have a powerful effect on one another because there are close ties through their family bloodlines. And Robert postulated that the "special senses" were indeed passed along from generation to generation. My great-grandmother, whose name was Qun-I-Ways, was a prominent healer and medicine woman for several indigenous communities in a region that is now known as Humboldt County, California. She would travel to neighboring villages and visit with her patients and heal them. In our family there was a succession of healers going back thousands of years. Sadly the culture, the language, and the spiritual and healing practices were lost after the Europeans came. Robert was very intuitive and through his own observations made recommendations on how my family might create and enhance powerful protective energies that would be beneficial to us. He believed that through understanding and careful manipulation of the special energies coupled with the gift of special senses is what enabled the Indian doctors to heal their patients and how the Indian sorcerers would conjure their bad medicine.

Over the years I have met many individuals that have special senses. They use them on a regular basis and have demonstrated special connections with siblings, parents, partners and friends. Just recently I met a young man who while at college had a need to contact his mother. His residence had telephone service but no long distance carrier. He had not spoken to his mother for quite sometime. He shared with me that after thinking about her during the day she called him that evening. This type of hyper-communication is very common. Some call it synchronicity or even just coincidence. Another case in point is a woman who had a twin sister that lived nearby. She said that she knew in advance when her sister would show up at her apartment or run into her in town. She knew when her sister was not feeling well or was under stress. She would have premonitions that would manifest in reality for her sister. She could even tell what she was wearing that day. Of course this worked both ways. They seemed to be connected to each other all the time. Another example is about a friend whose job would often take him out of town. He had a dog that was a family pet but was very fond of him. The dog would always become very excited on the day he was to return. His four-legged friend would pace back and forth at the front door anticipating his arrival. The dog would only do this on the day he was due to come home. While he was away the dog would be very calm and normal. One last example concerns a parrot I lived with that exhibited very special senses especially to her beloved friend and caretaker. The bird would sway back and forth and call out her name just before she would come home. Her caretaker worked unpredictable hours so there was no way the parrot could have known through conventional means when she would come home.

These are examples of the strong connections that humans have with other humans as well as with animals.. Experiences like those I have shared with you may be similar to your experiences. They are a part of our everyday lives. We may not even give them much thought yet when we examine them up close we begin to see the deep connections that we have with other human beings and other living things as well. It is indeed our holographic universe that gives rise to the hyper-communicational links that inextricably bond us together. The connections have always been there. All we have to do is recognize them.

I would like to expound a little more on the inter-connectiveness of living beings. A child once asked me why I had a dragonfly painted on my drum. I replied, "It's because we like each other". What I meant was that we were connected to each other through a shared experience. We were forever entangled through a unique quantum history. This is how. Sometime ago, a friend of mine and I were visiting my relatives up near the Klamath River. It was late spring and we were spending a lot of time exploring the area. It was a fascinating time for us. Our eyes and hearts were wide open and we both had lessons to learn. One afternoon we walked down a willow-lined trail that led us to some rocks along side the river and found a spot to sit. There was a swampy area where the water had formed a large shallow pool, which fed into much swifter currents that ran westward. The pond was filled with reeds, water lilies and algae.

We noticed that there were hundreds of dragonflies aloft and that the entire place was abuzz with them. You could hear their wings fluttering, clicking, and crackling as they flew busily around us. They seemed to be very curious about us. Many of them would hover in front of our faces and the bolder ones would alight on us. They had wonderful colors of different iridescent greens, reds, and blues. There were delicate looking damselflies mixed in with the larger dragonflies. There seemed to be a lot of activity in the water and our attention was drawn to it. The water was teeming with hundreds, if not thousands of dragonfly nymphs moving about the surface of the water. They were in various stages of hatching and were desperately trying to free themselves from their larval casings. Many of them were struggling to get out of the water and onto the nearby vegetation. Some were sitting on the lilies and others were hanging onto the reeds or climbing up on the rocks. They struggled tirelessly, attaching themselves to anything that would stay buoyant enough to hold them. Then they would sit for a minute or two and almost miraculously, their moist crumpled bodies would come alive and their new wings would burst out. You could hear the crackling noise as their wings began to straighten out. It was a distinct and unforgettable sound, like releasing crumpled up cellophane in your hand. On their heads were large eyes that would dart about gathering information regarding their new surroundings. Their front legs would gently stroke their eyes. I witnessed their colors come alive and become vibrant. I could feel their lively energy. They wasted no time in starting to exercise their wings. Frantically and rapidly buzzing with quick energetic bursts of their wings, they would make several test flights as they jumped from leaf to stem and then climbed to the high points on the plants. There they would pause for a moment, orient themselves towards their destination, and fly away.

I then felt a great benevolent consciousness gently shift my attention to the less pleasant scenes as if to remind me that I must see the whole picture if I was truly to understand today's lesson. Sadly, some dragonflies were not so fortunate. Many would topple into the fast moving currents and be swept away. Still others would be missing a wing or seemed to suffer physical problems that would render them flightless. There were columns of ants attacking the dragonflies and others were getting entangled in spider webs. My friend and I took our shoes off and waded into the water to rescue the ones that were in distress. I realized that our intervention would disturb the natural flow of things, but still we were compelled to do so. We began picking up the ones that were drowning in the water and putting them onto the nearby plants or rocks. I kept many from being attacked by the ants, and pulled several others from the spider webs and cleaned them off and sat them on the plants and rocks. Even the severely injured dragonflies that we knew would never fly were gently placed on safe dry places. We spent the rest of the day at that special spot. We were both tired and wet, but we were blissful. I thanked the Great Spirit for sharing the experience with us and we left.

By then it was late afternoon and we found a nice spot in the shade and unfolded an old parachute that I used to carry around with me to sit on in those days. Suddenly, there was a dragonfly, and then there were two, then three, and soon there were hundreds flying all around us, they were landing on us and near us. It was wonderful! There were all colors, shapes and sizes of dragonflies. We stayed until it was very late, surrounded by these exquisite creatures, until it got dark, and then we left. That place became one of our favorite spots. I still think about it as if it happened yesterday.

That late spring and early summer we spent a lot of time along the river, but after the experience at the "dragonfly spot" we were always surrounded by them. They would envelope our car and fly along side us when we traveled down the dusty river roads.

Subsequently, we would begin to see them in very odd places. Once while attending a pipe ceremony in the middle of town, a solitary dragonfly continuously circled our gathering. A year later, while in San Diego, I was spending a lot of time in the mountains, east of the sprawling city. I had spent several days in the mountains praying and gathering sacred herbs. One day I was guided to a spot by the dragonflies where there was a small waterfall surrounded by a beautiful stream and pools of clear water. Along side the banks there were lots of green water plants and algae and, of course, there were a multitude of dragonflies and a lot of other wonderful creatures. It was quite an ordeal getting down to the waterfall but well worth the effort. The place was truly an oasis because all around me was the arid chaparral and further east was the desert and the Salton Sea. It was very hot that day so I spent most of the day there meditating and praying. I filled my backpack with sage and then hiked up the steep slope and back to the car.

While traveling back to the city I decided to stop at a large supermarket along the way to get drinking water. While standing in the check out line, I engaged in a friendly conversation with nice lady who was standing in line next to me. She asked me what the smell was that was on my clothing. I replied to her that it was white sage. She then commented that she liked it very much because it reminded her of when she was a child growing up in the east county of San Diego. She said that all the sage was now gone because the whole area had been developed. I comforted her by saying that there was still plenty in the mountains and that she should take a trip to the mountains sometime in the future. Unexpectedly, I was interrupted in mid-sentence by one of the store employees who zoomed past me with a broom in hand. I then noticed several customers ducking and waving their arms around. One of them exclaimed, "Kill it before it stings me!" The young store clerk raised the broom and began to swing it around wildly. I looked around the cavernous store to see what was causing all of the commotion, and then out of the corner of my eye I saw something, and then heard the sound of little wings. It was a bright green dragonfly zinging around high above our heads. It flew madly about, darting in and out of the store aisles. It flew past me, and the customer I was talking to, and struck one of the large windows. The dragonfly continued to bump against the window very rapidly, making thumping noises as it desperately tried to find a way out of its worst nightmare. Then it flew to the doorway several times and after that flew up to the light fixtures and circled the store once again.

I stepped out into the middle of the aisle that led to the exit and exclaimed to the agitated store clerk with the broom that the poor dragonfly was not going to sting or bite anyone! He lowered the broom and then walked over towards me. I then told the patrons standing in the checkout lines that dragonflies don't bite. Most of them seemed to just ignore me until I raised my left arm high in the air and then pointed my index finger up towards the ceiling. I said in a loud voice, "Hey, you. Come over here!' The dragonfly circled high above several more times and then flew over towards the front windows once again. Then it flew over to the front doors and thumped against them several times as if to show me what it wanted. It then flew around my extended arm several times and very gently lit upon my index finger. I lowered my arm and brought the tiny creature to eye level and said to it, "You are going to be OK. Nobody will harm you." It lowered its wings to a resting position and I walked over to the automatic doors and they opened. I walked outside with the dragonfly still perched upon my finger. It extended its wings and flew away to freedom.

When I walked back into the store the atmosphere was very different. There was a gentle, peaceful feeling and total silence. Bewildered by it all, several of the customers watching the incident began to cry. A woman came over to me and said that she could not believe what had just happened. The other customers just stood there in silence watching me. The young clerk came over to me and asked me how I did it. I then replied to him and those who had witnessed the interaction that dragonflies are my close friends. Then I left the store and drove home.

I have a very strong connection to my big-eyed, four-winged friends. That is why I have a dragonfly painted on my drum; to symbolize my strong bond to them. That is how my medicine comes to me. The Beneficent Creator knows my intentions. When I connected to the dragonflies in a special way, I connected to all dragonflies everywhere because everything is interwoven and interconnected throughout. Our quantum histories are forever linked. I give thanks to our Creator for allowing me to be part of all these wondrous experiences.

It is in our nature to be curious about our existence and our surroundings. We can be adventurous in our quest for the answers regarding the Universe and yet be well grounded in our spiritual beliefs. I believe that it is not disrespectful to ask questions and seek out the answers to our most primal inquiries. There are those who would discourage exploration of all creation, stating that we should accept a preordained dogma. However, I believe the Creator Being desires that we study and learn all we can about this wonderful Universe.

While we are on our mysterious journey we must be vigilant and let our hearts and deep spiritual instincts illuminate our path and show us what we need to know. There are many today who are seeking balance and harmony in their lives. All are seeking a sanctuary or shelter from the uncertainty and intense harshness of the times. Every one has a right to seek a spiritual life that they have an affinity for. Most of the Native American tribal cultures have been destroyed. Those that have survived are very appealing to those who are seeking a more natural spiritual journey. There are a lot of truly gifted and spiritual people out there trying to piece together their lost heritage and not all are indigenous people from this continent. Lost cultures, spiritual practices and healing arts are once again being revived. They use prayer, meditation, and seek visions to bring back what was lost so long ago. I know a medicine man who, through prayers, visions, and deep concentration can recreate the lost songs of his ancestors. He then shares these songs with the rest of the world. He believes that in order to bring the people together and heal the world we must come together and share the knowledge. It must be shared with others for us to be able to change the world, making it a more peaceful place. In order to stop the destruction of our Mother Earth it has to begin with the spirit within ourselves. I am Native American and I realize that we can never go back to the past before the Europeans came. It will never be just us again. We must take down the barriers and work together as one people. I have noticed that there are many who seek to be a part of an extended family or a large community. That is their ancient heritage calling out to them. They long to be part of a more loving and caring community. They want to be connected to nature in a harmonious way. It is the Great Spirit calling them back. It does not make any difference who you are, where you came from, or what color your skin is. Many of these large family communities are made up from people of all shapes, sizes, genders and colors. Last summer (in 2004) I attended the Rainbow Gathering in Modoc, California and it was an amazing experience. It was an experience of giving and sharing. There were great entertainers and teachers and all kinds of wonderful events. It sets an example of how, through cooperation, people can build a community where all needs are met, yet great care is taken not to hurt the environment.

It is my hope to be able to share more of these wonderful experiences and concepts with you and that you will come and share your experiences with us at Ondi`a Spiritual Center someday.